| "When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I | | | | health, he had a justifiable reason to be mad at |
| actually felt relief," shares Cindy. "I had been | | | | God. He said, "Do I have any power to help |
| trying to find a reason for my pain and it finally | | | | myself, now that success has been driven from |
| was acknowledged as being something physical | | | | me?" (Job 6:13). Later in Job's life, however, God |
| not mental." Cindy goes on to explain, "It wasn't | | | | restored his life and blessed him exponentially and |
| until months later that I started getting | | | | then he said, "Surely I spoke of things I did not |
| short-tempered and frustrated and I realized that | | | | understand, things too wonderful to know" (Job |
| I was angry about the diagnosis. I was angry that | | | | 42:3b). Job had to go through the anger stage in |
| I had to suffer and no one understood." | | | | order to come out on the other side with more |
| Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a doctor in Switzerland, | | | | character and wisdom. And only through this was |
| wrote a life-changing book called, "On Death and | | | | he able to experience the blessings God gave him |
| Dying" which describes the cycle of emotional | | | | to their full extent. |
| stages that is often referred to as the grief cycle. | | | | 2. Feeling angry is okay. |
| Anger is the third stage, following the shock stage | | | | God gave us the ability to feel anger. There are |
| and the denial stage. | | | | many examples in the Bible where even He feels |
| When we are diagnosed with an illness, feeling | | | | anger. What does the Bible tell us about anger? |
| anger is the most natural reaction. Realizing our | | | | Once you begin to get in touch with these |
| dreams may be out of our control now that our | | | | feelings of anger, it may trigger every unfairness |
| body is redefining what is "normal" for us, can be | | | | and injustice that you are experiencing. We are |
| devastating. | | | | susceptible to becoming wrapped up in these |
| Recognizing these feelings and dealing with them is | | | | feelings and remaining angry at the world. These |
| part of the mourning process. We all need to go | | | | are the feelings of anger that God warns us |
| through this process, and it comes at different | | | | about; as He knows that they can become too |
| times for each individual and at different levels at | | | | prominent in our life and take our focus off of |
| each stage of the illness. Ironically, the first year | | | | Him. |
| of diagnosis may even be easier than the third | | | | - "For man's anger does not bring about the |
| year. | | | | righteous life that God desires" (James 1:20). |
| Says Krista, who lives with chronic fatigue | | | | - "Wise men turn away anger" (Proverbs |
| syndrome, "I know that my anger stages come | | | | - "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise |
| and go. I have been angry at doctors, at God, | | | | man keeps himself under control" (Proverbs 29:11). |
| myself, my church, even my husband and | | | | It is no secret that the God designed us with |
| daughter and other family members." | | | | anger as part of our natural human response to |
| One thing is definite: anger will come. For some | | | | negative circumstances. Some people may remind |
| people it will be a mild irritation with everything in | | | | us that it takes anger to make positive changes. |
| life, and for others a flaring temper that doesn't | | | | For example, the acronym "MADD" explains |
| seem subside. | | | | rather well the emotions behind Mothers Against |
| "It is my observation," says Linda Noble Topf, | | | | Drunk Drivers. Topf writes, "We discover that |
| author of "You are Not Your Illness", "that the | | | | anger is first and foremost demand for change." |
| absence of anger in the face of a serious illness | | | | It's true, amazing changes have occurred in |
| suggests that we have already withdrawn from | | | | history because of anger, such as the civil rights |
| life, that we have relinquished our passion for | | | | laws. Having an |
| living, that we are resigned and emotionally numb." | | | | "I'm-not-going-to-take-it-any-more-attitude" can |
| When you are Christian it can feel shameful to | | | | create positive changes. It is when anger takes |
| even express that you have angry feelings. Too | | | | over a life that we are in danger. |
| often Christians believe that their angry emotions | | | | In Amos 1:11, God says, "I will not turn back my |
| are sinful and something that those with a great | | | | wrath... because his anger raged continually." God |
| deal of faith never experience. They even believe | | | | isn't upset because of the presence of anger, but |
| that those feelings they do have are not even | | | | because the anger was continuous. God calls us to |
| quote "allowed." Have you ever experience some | | | | put our focus on Him and try to make a |
| of these feelings? | | | | difference that will bring glory to Him. |
| - If my faith in God is solid, I should trust that He | | | | 3. Walk with God beside you and He will walk with |
| wants what is best for me. Doubting His hand in | | | | you through your anger. |
| my circumstances to shows my lack of faith. | | | | David experienced this and wrote, "Though I walk |
| - If I tell other Christians about my angry feelings, | | | | in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you |
| and how frustrated I am with this disease, won't | | | | stretch out your hand against the anger of my |
| they think I am weak in my walk with Christ? | | | | foes, with your right hand you save me." (Psalm |
| - I know it says, "wise men shouldn't anger" in the | | | | 138:7). God is there when you need to feel angry |
| Bible. How can I, in good faith, express the | | | | and he wants to stretch out His hand against |
| emotions that I am feeling? | | | | your anger and protect you. |
| - I know that anger leads to bitterness. So if I | | | | "I'm still dealing with anger toward this illness, after |
| don't acknowledge these feelings I will be a | | | | eight years of being sick," shares a woman who |
| "better Christian" and I won't ever become bitter | | | | lives with fibromyalgia, Peggy says, "Each time I |
| about life. | | | | experience a new limitation, I get angry all over |
| All of these thoughts are normal, but that doesn't | | | | again. But as I learn to cope with living with |
| mean they're correct. By burying our anger and | | | | chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, and |
| not acknowledging it, we prevent ourselves from | | | | the limitations it places on my activities, I expect |
| moving on to the next phase in the grief cycle, | | | | God's perfect grace. I pray that He will become |
| learning how to effectively manage our emotions | | | | slow to anger, as I am depending on the |
| and our chronic illness. | | | | scripture, 'The Lord is compassionate and |
| Here are a few tips to help guide you through the | | | | gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love'" (Psalm |
| process of dealing with your anger: | | | | 103:8). |
| 1. Are you feeling angry? Acknowledge this | | | | Anger is an emotion we will all encounter for the |
| emotion and then move on with life. | | | | rest of our lives. Perhaps the simplest of advice is |
| It is easy to believe if we bury our anger we will | | | | a scripture that I quote in my book, Why Can't I |
| become a stronger person. Topf recommends, | | | | Make People Understand? Discovering the |
| "Think of anger as a resource that you can learn | | | | Validation Those with Chronic Illness Seek and |
| to harness and refine for your own benefit." By | | | | Why" where I go through the mixed bag of |
| claiming your feelings you can reclaim your | | | | emotions, especially anger and bitterness. It is |
| personal identity and your true emotions about | | | | Hosea 7:13b-14 in which God says, "I long to |
| the situation. | | | | redeem [you] but. . . [you] do not cry out to Me |
| The Bible tells us that Job got extremely angry, | | | | from [your] hearts, but wait upon [your] beds." |
| even cursing the day he was born. After much | | | | Instead of curling up in bed wailing "Why me? |
| loss of loved ones, possessions, and finally his | | | | |