Celebrating the Highly Sensitive Personality

Long before I was seriously ill, I often had aeasily overwhelmed by all that needs to be
sense that I felt emotions more deeply andaccomplished, and by what they observe around
painfully than many of my friends and colleagues.them, and may feel a sense of despair when
Things seemed to roll off their backs, while Ithey consider things outside of their control.
became greatly affected in some way by whatAll of this is very demanding on the body. If
I'd seen or heard.these beliefs and behaviour patterns are at the
I easily picked up on how others were feeling, androot of our being - and are seen as a misfortune
their energies affected my own. I was forever- then every-day stress, or specific traumas will
concerned about what the people around memake a further impact, and inevitably, the body
were undergoing: had I said or done something towill shout out for change. In other words, stop
offend them, and what did that look they justfunctioning at its best in some way.
gave me actually mean?When working with clients who have presented
It was important for me to put others' needsthese thoughts and feelings, the first aspect I
before my own. I felt uncomfortable if my needsusually address is how angry they are with
were met ahead of theirs, and I worried aboutthemselves because they are "so sensitive" or
what they'd think of me. One of my strongest"so emotional". Reframing this, so that they start
convictions was that it was my responsibility toto recognise the miracle which underlies being
help, and even save, others. I remember as asensitive, enables them to value their empathic
young girl my father saying, "You can't save theand intuitive abilities.
world!" and me thinking, "But I have to!"EFT can easily dissolve the limiting belief "It's
I always wished I could be a bit less emotionalwrong to be this sensitive", and instead of
when discussing heartfelt matters; a little lesssomeone asking, "What's wrong with me because
moved when watching movies, or listening toI feel this so deeply?", after using EFT, they'll be
accounts of bravery and courage; a bit moremaking the list "What's right with me for feeling
thick skinned when it came to making decisions. Ithis so deeply?" Dissolving the negative emotions
seemed to be so highly sensitive and it was fararound who we are and what we feel leads the
from a blessing. What was wrong with me?way to forgiveness, and with forgiveness comes
Not only did EFT enable me to overcome Chronicphysical healing.
Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), it also helped meThe following EFT may be useful if you are
address all of these worries and self-criticisms. Ireading this and noticing similarities in the way you
freed myself from the burden (as I believed it tothink, feel and behave:
be) of being sensitive and began to see theEven though I'm angry with myself because I'm
positives, possibilities and full potential, which comeso sensitive, for the moment I have decided to
from having this type of personality.accept myself anyway
Far from it being a 'burden', I was able to seeEven though I wish I were more thick-skinned,
that I - and anyone who experienced similarand didn't get hurt so easily, I deserve to accept
beliefs and behaviour patterns - had a lot to offer.myself for being me
Highly sensitive people are extremely intuitive,Even though I've always thought being this
making them aware of what others are thinkingsensitive was a weakness, what if it's actually a
and feeling. Their empathy enables them to bestrength?
very understanding of someone's situation, andTop of head: I'm angry with myself because I
perceptive to their needs. All valuable traits whenfeel everything so deeply
working with other people.Eyebrow: Why am I so sensitive?
When I started working with clients who areSide of eye: I can feel what they're feeling
chronically ill, I became fascinated as I listened toUnder eye: and I worry that I've hurt them in
the way they talked: their experiences; theirsome way
thoughts about themselves and the world; theirUnder nose: I seem to absorb everything
desire to make a difference in the world, yetChin: and it's so tiring!
constantly feeling overwhelmed by the prospect,Collarbone: I feel so different
and how they consistently pushed themselves toUnder arm: What's wrong with me?
be perfect. Often, they confessed they feltTop of head: Perhaps I could turn this around
different, and misunderstood, as thoughEyebrow: and think about this from another
something was 'wrong' with them.perspective
Of course, I'm not suggesting that only clientsSide of eye: It's good that I am capable of feeling
who were ill talked in this way to me, but Ithings this deeply
couldn't deny the correlation. I now believe thatUnder eye: It's right that I'm so aware of what
many people with a chronic illness have a highlyothers are thinking and feeling
sensitive personality, and healing the self-criticismUnder nose: I can be helpful and supportive
sometimes caused by it, is paramount to healingChin: I can make a difference
the symptoms of illness and pain.Collarbone: and I deserve to do this in a
From my experiences of working with chronicallytriumphant way
ill people for five years, I also believe highlyUnder arm: I choose to celebrate who I am and
sensitive people could well be more predisposedhow I feel
to illness. The very essence of their nature is toTruly accepting who we are and how we are
be helpful to the point of putting themselvesfeeling is the first step to healing wounds, new
second. They are usually perfectionists, striving toand old. Reframing our perspective to allow us to
ensure everything in their life is just right; fromsee the gifts inherent in deep sensitivity frees
work projects, to family relations, to making surethose gifts to blossom. EFT can help us to do
their time is spent usefully. They can becomeboth.