| Fibromyalgia patients are unfortunately facing an | | | | thus entitled to a modicum of respect, at the |
| increasingly vocal minority of suspicion and | | | | very least. |
| disbelief about their very-real illness. Most often | | | | Then, too, consider this: how would you react if |
| this message comes from anonymous or faceless | | | | someone began an argument with you in a |
| "scientists" or "researchers" questioned by the | | | | confrontational, accusatory tone? When that |
| media, which reports on the "controversy" with | | | | person began dismissing your opinions and getting |
| breathless intrigue and florid language. Such | | | | very defensive, how do you think you'd feel |
| "doubts" are easy for most of us to dismiss -- | | | | about continuing the discussion with him or her? |
| they don't affect us as individuals, our lives, our | | | | Be Aware of What You're Teaching Your |
| symptoms, or our pain management and | | | | Physician About You |
| treatment options. | | | | While it's important to keep your cool when |
| But there's a more insidious form of opposition | | | | speaking with your doctor, and to use a |
| we can sometimes face. It can happen to | | | | courteous, respectful tone, it's also important not |
| anybody with any chronic illness, and fibromyalgia | | | | to inadvertently teach your doctor to abuse your |
| sufferers are not immune. This opposition comes | | | | good nature. If things get out of hand - if the |
| in the form of a difficult doctor. | | | | doctor says something inappropriate, for instance, |
| Many of us have had experience with arrogant | | | | or begins to dismiss you before the discussion is |
| physicians and surgeons. Often, the reputation is | | | | through - you're going to have to speak up. |
| warranted but just as often, a relationship with a | | | | For some folks, this is no problem. But for many |
| medical provider goes south because both parties | | | | of us, speaking up in this situation is downright |
| come into it with preconceived ideas and | | | | scary. If you feel you might want to run and hide, |
| suspicions about the other. When the "difficult | | | | or avoid the conflict altogether, it's best to spend |
| doctor" happens to be your primary treating | | | | some time with a friend or family member |
| physician, then that's a problem. Fortunately, it's | | | | roleplaying this scenario before the doctor's visit. |
| one that can often be solved with a little effort. | | | | This will give you some practice thinking on your |
| Respect Your Doctor's Education and Experience | | | | feet, and simultaneously getting comfortable |
| When your relationship with your doctor has | | | | standing up for yourself in difficult situations. |
| grown sour because of his or her arrogance, | | | | Then, if the worst does happen, you can pull |
| whether it's truly arrogance or your perception of | | | | yourself up straighter, adopt your "I'm serious and |
| behavior that's caused by other factors, the last | | | | you'd best listen" face, and say: |
| thing you want to hear is "respect your doctor." | | | | - "Respectfully, doctor, if you cannot take my |
| Nor do I advocate blind obedience to the almighty | | | | symptoms seriously, I will be forced to take my |
| M.D. Such faith might have been the norm in days | | | | medical files and find a physician who is more |
| gone by, but today's it's rather silly to abdicate all | | | | equipped to treat my case." |
| responsibility for your health. Most responsible | | | | - "Doctor, I have no problem having a healthy |
| physicians want their patients to be involved in | | | | discussion, even if we disagree. But I will not be |
| their health care. (If yours doesn't, that's a big | | | | spoken to condescendingly, and I will not be |
| clue that you should perhaps start looking for a | | | | dismissed. If it happens again, I will leave and I will |
| new doctor.) | | | | take my files with me to find a doctor who |
| What I am suggesting is this: mutual respect is | | | | knows how to communicate respectfully with |
| required for any healthy working relationship. In | | | | patients." |
| order to expect it from your doctor, you'll have | | | | - "Excuse me, I'm not finished yet. I'd prefer to |
| to offer it first. | | | | discuss these concerns with you now." One word |
| If you find it difficult to respect your doctor | | | | of caution: if you issue an ultimatum (as the first |
| personally, then consider respecting the education, | | | | two examples do), you must be prepared to |
| time, and effort she has put in to becoming a | | | | follow through with it. |
| physician. Your doctor went to school for a long | | | | The bottom line is this: It's your body, your |
| time before he was even allowed to call himself a | | | | money, and your life. You are entitled to be |
| doctor. That was followed by years of interning | | | | treated with respect and to have your concerns |
| and residency, and possibly a long board | | | | taken seriously by your treating physician. You |
| certification process as well. | | | | owe him nothing more than respect and payment |
| No, doctors are not "gods" -- no matter what | | | | for services rendered. That's it. If he isn't willing to |
| some may secretly believe! But they are human | | | | live up to his end of the bargain, you have no |
| beings with a certain amount of expertise, and | | | | choice but to find a more honorable doctor. |