The Harsh Reality Of Living With M.e - Battle For Acceptance

I first realized I wasn’t my normal selfafter spending the majority of my time at home
towards the Christmas holidays...I'd just finishedI had built up a little strength due to resting so
school and during my GCSE's I'd contracted amuch, I wanted to venture into town without my
virus known as glandular fever which seems towheelchair, I managed, but not for long, I had to
be quite a popular trigger for M.E/CFS (Myalgichold my mother's arm for support and wear
Encephalopathy/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome)sunglasses often as the light would hurt my eyes.
...I was studying Animal Management at SparsholtTime went on and I did start to get stronger, I
college in Winchester. During early November Ilearnt about pacing which is vital towards the your
began falling asleep during class, which at first Irecovery...you learn to do one thing at a time,
thought was just the sudden adjustment to fulleven eating use to tire me out, my arms would
time study as at the beginning of year 10 I wasache from lifting the folk to my mouth, chewing
put on a reduced timetable due to severebecame a challenge and so I began losing weight
Tourettes. The course timetable entitled studentsrapidly, little everyday things that people take for
to a day off college each week, which for myselfgranted became a struggle and will continue to be
were spent sleeping on the sofa at home, mya struggle for most M.E sufferers. Whereas most
psychiatrist recommended I get another bloodhealthy people could take the dog for a walk and
test to assure the Glandular Fever was out ofthen come home and do something else without
my system. Tests revealed that I was clear ofany problems we have to decide if we could take
the fever and also ruled out anemia and otherthe dog out and then accept not be able to do
possible reasons for the fatigue. I had to rehomeanything for the rest of the day. Some sufferers
my puppy due to not being able to care for herare too ill to even contemplate taking the dog out.
properly which was a very heartbreakingThere's different levels of the illness. Did we ask
decision...By December I had deteriorated, but stillfor it...? No. But we got it and now have to live
battled to keep up my course, the college did allwith it. There was recently a poll published in the
they could to accommodate my needs, eventuallyDaily Mail which was quite humiliating for me to
my psychiatrist diagnosed M.E as the cause andsee. The poll asked readers to vote on whether
by February 2008 that diagnosis was madethey thought M.E was a “real” illness!
official. I had to give up my course because IObviously this upset and angered a lot of
became too ill to continue as animal managementsufferers, to think that other people are judging
is a naturally a demanding field of work. I becamehow we feel when they no nothing of how
very isolated as I wasn't well enough to go out,debilitating it is to live with. We don't chose this
to be honest it took me a long time to acceptway of life, just like people don’t chose to
that I wasn't my normal self, I still have troublehave cancer or to be born without a limb. I
accepting that I can't keep up with friends etc...itmyself have so many plans that I'd love to
get's very frustrating. By July 2008 I was forcedperuse, so many dreams...I'd love to go back to
to use a wheelchair to get me about places, ascollege and as I am recovering this may be
you can imagine being forced to use a wheelchairpossible in September this year (2010). But for
to go shopping or enjoy any form of socializing ismany they have suffered severe M.E for years
a rather difficult adjustment...which a lot of M.Eand years, and for some it will never go away.
sufferers have had to overcome. I lost friendsIt's there and is defiantly real...trust us! We're not
because they didn't understand, I soon stoppedsomething you can defy...Just because we don't
using the wheelchair due to embarrassment,have our leg in plaster and there's no outward
although I understand lots of people have to usephysical signs, doesn't mean that there is nothing
wheelchairs because of paralysis or other morewrong with us. M.E is a severely debilitating
obvious reasons I myself just couldn't deal withcondition that impacts greatly on a sufferers life
the change. I felt that I shouldn't need one,and there is no way of knowing if or when a
because physically I had working bones, so it feltsufferer is going to be able to lead a normal life
almost discriminating for me to be usingagain. I’m writing this to inform others about
one...although I actually needed the extra supportthe condition, for those who want to learn about
because I couldn't walk, not without losing myit and for general awareness so people will maybe
balance or almost collapsing after a few steps. Sothink twice before judging us.